Thursday, September 30, 2010

Tone Up Thursdays....{My Ramblings}

I have to tell you that I wrote my post earlier this week and then got the ... well...that is all good and fine but do I really have the time and energy? I am so sleep deprived on a regular basis and feel that I have been this way for the past 3 years....I know exercising will help.  I know a better diet will help.  I know taking care of myself is the ONLY answer....I know....don't we all?

I have to tell you that I am going to be brutally honest on Thursdays (that is just how I am .. but I tend to refrain on this blog...who has the time to read all of my ramblings?  Then I realized it is more about me facing myself and being honest about the journey ... not about a perfect world or a perfect blog but about my world).

So....let's start with my {Confession Corner}.
I made my declaration and immediately started to give myself excuses on why today was not the "right" day to get started.  I woke up the following morning after my declaration dropped my daughter off at school and then sat at the computer to find some bargains...and .... ready....{Confession time}... I opened up a can of Crack Condensed milk...yup....Condensed milk and sat down to start my day!  Who does that????

Then and I can not make this up if I tried ... I opened up my email to find a note from a "liver mommy" and a friend.  I have to share a few things with you in order for you to realize how profound the timing of this note was and how it managed to kick my a$$ in gear.

Maggie has a beautiful little princess who was born with the same liver disease as my daughter.  We "met" on an online support group.  Her daughter also had a liver transplant.  When I was at the Ronald McDonald House in Jersey I received a package for the holidays with a beautiful note from Maggie (having never met her) meant so much to me.

With time we have met in person and our miracles have played together...funny thing is that our girls could pass for sisters!  I guess in a way they are sisters...

This Easter I decorated our trees with eggs and had a great time with Savvy all the while Maggie's little princess was fighting for her life.  I remember the day the Easter eggs came down my neighbor asked if our little friend was neighbors knew that until our other little princess went home to her family and celebrated Easter our decorations were not coming down...this to me was a sign of Hope.  Maggie had been told on a few occasions to say her last goodbyes to her precious princess because she would not pull through...I type this with tears because my chest still gets tight at the thought.  This princess was in ICU this spring and she proved the doctors see....she is a Warrior Princess like my daughter.  She is a tiny little 3 year old sparkly princess that kicks some major tush when she has too!

So, slurping on my can of condense milk I read:

Good morning my sweet! Read your blog.....feel the same way...that's why I started this running...I was simply just "(the princesses)  mommy" and "maggie" was gone....ahhhhh I just want to scream, hug you, share some rice cakes with you lol! You go girl, you can do it, and I am right here by you. I do just want to let you know, I am a junk food junkie, love the stuff, but since I started running I really don't want that stuff as much as I wanted before. You work so hard to get to that point, and don't want to ruin it with one fabulous pumpkin muffin from dunkin donuts worth a whopping 600 calories attached to it! This by the way is my fave food and is only avail from now till November, and I have yet to have one...anyways, I love you, I fear with you, I am here for get going! :)

Maggie - I just wanted to Thank You for reminding me I am not many times I feel so normal with my precious family and then the fear will take over out of nowhere...thank you for reminding me I can do this...I got my tush on the treadmill and threw out the remainder of the condense milk.  Thank you ... Thank you ... Thank you! now that I am back on track ... I am not sure if I should document my weight {gasp}...I really want to focus on toning up and getting in shape and not weight or size but that seems to be the only measurements to document this journey....I am not sure just yet....I can tell you what my goal is....


Anonymous said...

I hopped by to Follow You!
So Glad I did!
Living Out Loud

Melanie said...

You Can Do It {insert a high five and a wave here}! I started running in January and while I am just capable of finishing a 5K - I love the goal and the running high. If you need a short term goal...the Woman's Half Marathon ins in November in Tampa. They have a 5k too. :)